Jumping on Tori’s wagon to bring smoothies back starting with this autumnal treat.
Yesterday’s binge is noteworthy. Not because of what I ate but how horrible I felt afterwards. Not even physical plan but mentally I was shattered. It’s like I’ve given up. I can’t remember the last time I got on the scale. For three years, I got on the scale every Monday even if I knew I was gain. But now it’s like I don’t care.
:whispers: I think I may go back to tracking with Weight Watchers and combining the Tone It Up nutritional plan to make it my own. For some reason, I feel ashamed to go back to WW. I feel like I should be able to do it on my own. My thinking is that I would eat according to the TIU plan/philosophy and track to keep a handle on my portions. If I look back, when I was successful in losing weight is when I was on WW. I’ve been reading my old blog (sort of abandoned it after becoming more active on Tumblr) and I was successful with WW so why not go back to what worked.
Once I recoup financially from all my eye expenses, I’m going to take advantage of the fact that I have medical insurance and find a therapist. I need to understand why I sabotage myself. Why I constantly let myself down.
Half marathon training starts in a week and I’m a bit terrified. I shouldn’t be because I’ve done it before but what intimidates me is the fact that I don’t think I have the drive I did last year. I remember how hard I worked and how proud of myself I was when I crossed the finish line. I need to become that version of myself again.