Yesterday I completed Week 1 Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program. This workout almost didn’t happen. I almost talked myself out of it. I have been thinking about starting this program but I’ve been scared to. It’s a total mental block that I am putting in front of me. I keep thinking that it’s something that I can’t do.
I had planned on going first thing in the morning. I set my alarm for 5:45 and I was so anxious about it that I couldn’t sleep and finally went to bed at around 4am. I turned off my alarm before finally going to sleep. All day long I kept telling myself “just go outside and do it.” But I kept making excuses.
See what a mental case I am? All day I kept thinking of paths around my city that I could go that were safe, didn’t have a lot of people and weren’t very visible to drivers. Even typing this out I feel like a crazy person. But I am so insecure in stepping outside and running.
I belong to a gym so why not use the treadmill, right? I have this fear that I am going to break it if I try to run on it or that everyone will stare. What if I set it too fast and I fall? Doesn’t make sense but that’s what I kept thinking. So the gym was out.
By late afternoon, I put my gym clothes on decided that I would go to the park near my house and start C25k. When I got there, there were trucks and so many people setting up for the mother effin’ fair for Fourth of July. Are you kidding me? I almost drove back home. I thought of another place where I like to walk which is a bit crowded but at this point I decided that I just wanted to get it done.
Finally I got to that park and started the 5 minute warm up. I was seriously so anxious about it. I started my heart rate monitor and I could see that my heart rate was elevated. What is wrong with me? The app I am following (Ease into 5K) has me doing the following intervals three times after a 5 minute warm up.
After the first 30 second run, my anxiousness went away and I just concentrated on making each interval. The ones where I had to run for 60 seconds I did stop & walked for 5 seconds or so to catch my breath. But I never stopped moving. I was also breathing hard. When the app told me it was time to cool down & walk, I wanted to stop and kiss the ground. I walked the rest of the time with a big smile on my face because I had done it. All the anxiousness of the day was for nothing. I was able to do it. I was red faced, sweaty and out of breath at times but I did it. I FUCKING DID IT.
I won’t be doing this long a recap on each day but I wanted to remember this day and how I felt. I almost let my insecurities take away the feelings after I completed day 1. In a span of 30 minutes, I ran for 6 of them. Never in my life have I ever run for that long. But now I can say that I have.