peace + love + cupcakes

Tumbling about losing weight (113 lbs so far), trying a eat clean way of life, training for my first half marathon, music and other randomness.
The Cool Kids

Yesterday I completed Week 1 Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program.  This workout almost didn’t happen.  I almost talked myself out of it.   I have been thinking about starting this program but I’ve been scared to.  It’s a total mental block that I am putting in front of me. I keep thinking that it’s something that I can’t do.

I had planned on going first thing in the morning. I set my alarm for 5:45 and I was so anxious about it that I couldn’t sleep and finally went to bed at around 4am.  I turned off my alarm before finally going to sleep.  All day long I kept telling myself “just go outside and do it.”  But I kept making excuses.

  • I don’t want my neighbors to see me. 
  • The pavement is uneven in some parts and I don’t want to trip. 
  • What if someone drives by me and laughs?  
  • What if one of my old coworkers drives by and sees me? 

See what a mental case I am?  All day I kept thinking of paths around my city that I could go that were safe, didn’t have a lot of people and weren’t very visible to drivers.  Even typing this out I feel like a crazy person.  But I am so insecure in stepping outside and running.  

I belong to a gym so why not use the treadmill, right?  I have this fear that I am going to break it if I try to run on it or that everyone will stare. What if I set it too fast and I fall?  Doesn’t make sense but that’s what I kept thinking.  So the gym was out.  

By late afternoon, I put my gym clothes on decided that I would go to the park near my house and start C25k.  When I got there, there were trucks and so many people setting up for the mother effin’ fair for Fourth of July. Are you kidding me?  I almost drove back home.  I thought of another place where I like to walk which is a bit crowded but at this point I decided that I just wanted to get it done. 

Finally I got to that park and started the 5 minute warm up.  I was seriously so anxious about it.   I started my heart rate monitor and I could see that my heart rate was elevated.  What is wrong with me?  The app I am following (Ease into 5K) has me doing the following intervals three times after a 5 minute warm up.  

  • Run 30 seconds
  • Walk 45 seconds
  • Run 45 seconds
  • Walk 60 seconds
  • Run 60 seconds 
  • Walk 90 seconds

After the first 30 second run, my anxiousness went away and I just concentrated on making each interval.  The ones where I had to run for 60 seconds I did stop & walked for 5 seconds or so to catch my breath.  But I never stopped moving.   I was also breathing hard.  When the app told me it was time to cool down & walk, I wanted to stop and kiss the ground.  I walked the rest of the time with a big smile on my face because I had done it.   All the anxiousness of the day was for nothing.  I was able to do it.  I was red faced, sweaty and out of breath at times but I did it.  I FUCKING DID IT.  

I won’t be doing this long a recap on each day but I wanted to remember this day and how I felt.  I almost let my insecurities take away the feelings after I completed day 1.   In a span of 30 minutes, I ran for 6 of them.  Never in my life have I ever run for that long.  But now I can say that I have.  

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  1. amiegoesactive said: I started C210k yesterday. You got this!!!!
  2. honestlyamy said: awesome!
  3. strengthandlace said: Yay!!! I’m so happy that you conquered your fears and did it!!!!!!
  4. higherthanthesoulcouldhope said: So proud of you!!!! Good job lady!
  5. lostweightgainedlove said: Huge Congrats. I’m so excited for you
  6. stephsdoinglife said: Way to go! The hardest part is always getting out the door. You echoed my fears when I started running 15 months ago. Keep it up girl! You’re amazing!
  7. squirrelsandswings said: SO PROUD of you!! You are so not a crazy person. I feel like you took thoughts out of my own head to write them down here (and I’m not crazy! ha) You did it. You didn’t let fear win. YAY!!!!!
  8. getzfitz said: AWESOME JOB. The hardest part is just getting the nerve to do it. I’ve had yet to have anyone bug me. I have had people cheer me on though. lol. I am so happy for you!!!
  9. coskay said: I think everyone is self conscious running outside, which is funny b/c I know I respect anyone motivated to do it!
  10. annedoeslife reblogged this from missmarisol and added:
    I still have those thoughts when going out to run. I just think to myself that my neighbors are sitting on their ass not...
  11. carolynruns said: Usually the hardest part is ignoring that asshole voice in our head that says we can’t do something. You faced your fears and proved you CAN. That’s an epic win in my book. :)
  12. cupcakeconditioning said: Amazing! Now you’re on your way :)
  13. angies--life said: F yeah, Marisol!
  14. leadoeslife said: Good job!
  15. delmajesty said: Great job!
  16. myballoonburst said: Hurray! All those nagging thoughts can make it so easy to quit, but it’s really great that you did it anyway. Were you running at all last year? I was thinking you did a 5K, or something like that.
  17. missmarisol posted this
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