Tumbling about getting healthy & fit (lost 116 lbs but gained back 50 #sadpanda), learning to love myself and trying to live life to the fullest.
See you in 154 episodes.
• Food has been on point since I finished Whole30. Mostly. Like 90% of the time. There have been some meals that I wish I could take back but I feel like I’m in control of my food choices.
• Today is day 6 of tracking all my meals on MFP (username - missmarisol) and been below calories every day. I think I’m gonna cancel my WW etools subscription once and for all. I’m so tempted to weigh in tomorrow so we’ll see.
• Since ending Whole30, I’ve been breaking out especially around my chin. However I don’t know if it’s because I’m introducing new foods or because I used one of the GlamGlow masks that is supposed to extract EVERYTHING.
• I’ve been having a couple of negative body image days because I’m shopping for a outfit for a wedding that I’m going to in November. It’s a formal fancy wedding and I’ve never been to any sort of event like that. I asked the bride what sort of clothes would need to be worn and it’s long fancy dresses for women and tuxes for men. Like whoa! I think the last time I wore a dress was over a decade ago. I’ve been trying to find one that doesn’t make me feel huge, covers my arms which I’m extremely self conscious about and also is affordable. Let me tell you, it ain’t easy. I’ve been extremely critical of myself and I can’t help it. This brings me to my next point.
• When my niece got engaged, she asked me if I wanted to be a bridesmaid. You know the saying always a bridesmaid never a bride. For me it’s been always a wedding guest never a bridesmaid. My initial reaction was panic. How can I at 35 be a bridesmaid for my 24 year old niece? I panicked just thinking about being in front of every one and having to wear a bridesmaid dress. Being the one that stood out because of my weight and wearing something that I knew I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing. Also, all the expenses that go along with that. How can I at this point in my life not afford something like that? The more I thought, the more anxious I got and I gently turned her down. I think she understood but I’m not sure. However it’s something that I deeply regret.
• So that this doesn’t end in such a negative tone, I’m so proud of the tumblr community and how they’ve come together to help high-heel-mileage. Thank you snapthistiger for reaching out to Amy and proving what an awesome community we have.