“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”—
“It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say “That was shitty of you”. You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.”—Unknown (via ohteenscanrelate)
Romcoms would have you believe that sex is all cuddles and crisp white bed sheets and intimate climaxes over and over again as you make sweet passionate love from dusk til dawn. It isn’t.
Mostly because who the heck wants to go to work on two hours’ sleep?
So, just because it’s nice to be honest about sex, here’s the 21 unsexiest things about it.
1. The smell. That smell. You know the one. The indescribable combination of semen, lady juice and sweat. Nice.
2. Removing socks. Hey, let me just try and hop around naked while I pull a sock printed with dinosaurs off my foot. Especially unsexy when your partner is trying to continue the foreplay by latching onto your nipple while you wrestle with your ankle.
3. Fanny farts.
4. Or even worse, those real farts that slip out when you least suspect it.
5. Getting sex cramp in your leg. Feeling like someone may have slipped a dagger into your thigh and not knowing the best way to respond.
6. Getting semen in your eye. Or in your hair. Or anywhere that isn’t your private parts. How long are you supposed to wait until you start the thorough clean-up process?
7. Also, swallowing semen and trying to pretend that it tastes like a peanut butter milkshake rather than, well, a slimy, salty bogey.
8. Your underwear. Because however much you try and plan it, you’ll always get laid when you’re wearing the greying pants with a hole in the back. You should really throw those bad boys out.
9. The awkward ‘oh… you’re bleeding’. It’s never actual blood though, just that brown-coloured discharge *shudders*.
10. The crab shuffle off the bed, and the race against time to make it to the toilet without leaving a stream of semen in your wake.
11. But failing, and having a nice trickle of the white stuff down your leg.
12. Trying to talk dirty. What words are you supposed to use? ‘I want you to stick your willy in my pussy’ *is sick all over self*
13. Trying to strip, while sober and in silence. Oh, you don’t get an erection from me battling with my jumpsuit?
14. Orgasm faces. They’re probably quite similar to the face of someone who’s just been shot. Probably.
15. Pubes. They’re scratchy and wirey. They get in your mouth. They need grooming. They’re just a sex hazard aren’t they?
16. The sweat. The sweat that makes your perfectly placed fringe stick to your forehead like a greasy pre-teen, and your make-up melt down your face until you look like a serial killer. Cute.
17. Dryness. Trying to approach foreplay with the excitement levels of the Sahara Desert. It sorta hurts.
18. Doggy style. Just, doggy style. What horrible person invented this?
19. The crippling jaw ache that comes with too much blowing. Imagine if you put that much energy into the gym, eh?
20. Willies and vaginas in general. No, really, think about this one. Are they not just the ugliest things on your entire body? Why couldn’t they just look more like your arm or something?
21. And finally, rolling into a wet patch you had no idea was still there.
This had me in stitches at work today 😂
Oh my gosh this list is perfect.
This made me giggle like a loon in work *weird looks from colleagues*
“I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me. Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”—The O.C. (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
You say you don’t have enough to be happy. You don’t have a good job. You don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You don’t have a house. You don’t have a decent car. You don’t have a perfect body. You don’t have the right friends…You don’t have…You don’t have…You don’t have. Here’s what you DO…
“You want everything to stay the same until you’re ready for it to change. But you can’t do that. You can’t expect the whole world to stand still until you’re ready.”—Gayle Friesen (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
I woke up starving. I barely slept. It was 85 in my house. Got maybe 4 hours, which most of you are probably rolling your eyes at. But that’s not enough for someone who makes it a priority to get 8-9 hours a night. I feel like shit as a result.
I’m an old man I guess. But really it’s just that sleep is a priority for me. Food. Sleep. Training. In that order. For me there is no other way.
Most weekdays I get between 4 to 5 hours of sleep and on those days I do take a nap. If I don’t have plans early Saturday, I’ll sleep for 10 hours to try to catch up. But you can’t really catch up.
With my schedule changing, I’ll be able to get more sleep which will help me get back to a healthier sleep pattern.
However the most important thing about your post was the fact that you make YOURSELF a priority. I haven’t been doing that and it’s evident in the choices that I’ve made the past year.