Today I had a somewhat intense conversation with my mom. To give you a bit of background, she hurt her foot almost 2.5 years ago. In that time, she has self diagnosed herself several times, gone to the doctor, stopped going, started acupuncture, got some cortisone shots and the list goes on. She has done anything and everything to avoid surgery which is what one of the doctors recommended.
She’s on her feet all day due to her job. She’s overweight. She doesn’t take care of herself. She works out at times. She isn’t a spring chicken anymore.
My sister and I have talked to her about her health/weight and her foot issue and she blocks us out. Early this week she tells me that her foot continues to hurt her (the cortisone shot is wearing off) and that she thinks she’ll have surgery in 4 weeks.
Um what?!?! Because of my job, I can’t take time off because I do to get paid PTO and I can’t afford to not get paid especially if my mom isn’t working (she’s self employed). My sister is in her last semester of her MBA plus she works full time. She asked that if my
Mom were to have the surgery that she have it during the summer so that school wouldn’t be an issue and she can take the time off from work. But she didn’t listen.
But here’s the kicker — her surgery is scheduled for 9/19. She goes to Cabo on vacation from 9/13 to 9/18. Wouldn’t a rational person cancel that vacation and concentrate on getting shit together before said surgery? Every time she flies, her feet swell up. How the fuck does she think it’s ok to come back that way? She’ll be drinking and eating things out of the norm. She’ll be exhausted from her trip and also because she will have worked extra hard the previous two weeks before going on vacation. I told her she should cancel it and she said “no I don’t want to”. I asked her if the roles were reversed and it was me going on vacation right before a surgery that will leave me on rest for 4 to 6 weeks. She just looked at me and didn’t say anything. Also who is going to look after her? Timing sucks right now and it’s like she doesn’t care.
I don’t know what to do anymore. She scared the crap out of me when she had emergency heart surgery about 12 years ago. It was an emergency because she ignored the signs. If her friend hasn’t forced her to go, who knows what could’ve happened. After going through that scary experience, you think she would have learned.My mom is the most important person in my life. I would do anything for her. I want to help her but she won’t let me. She’s the first one to be there for her brothers and sisters yet she doesn’t look out for herself.